Today was the start of our User Conference. I made the horrible mistake of thinking I had to be there at 6:30am when I really didn’t have to be there until around 8:00. So fuck me, right? The day went well enough, this is the one busy day throughout this whole process(minus first thing tomorrow morning, which will also be busy.) The rest of the week will be a lot of “hurry up and wait.” So I’m not exactly looking forward to it. And I can’t just zone out and listen to podcasts because I have to be ready to respond to walkie-talkie requests. Oh well, it is at least nice to get out of the office for a while and do something different.
Jensine flew in from Philly, he’s basically the only coworker I have that’s around my age. And while he’s nice enough and I know he means well, we just don’t get along super great. He can be so incredibly needy and I want to help him, because he’s nice and pleasant to talk to. But man, boundaries! And I was so fucking certain he was going to ask me a ride, I just knew it was coming. I had built up the nerve to shut him down before he even got a chance. And sure enough, he did. And then 30 minutes later he tried to guilt trip me by telling me how much he’s spending on Uber rides. Expense that shit bro, I’m not your chauffeur. I offered to take him out to dinner Wednesday night, so there’s that. But I’m not going to taxi him around everywhere.
I’m playing a game at Kyle’s. It’s called “See how long Kyle will go without washing his dirty dishes.” The sink currently has dishes from his dinner on Thursday I believe, and it’s Monday evening now. Plus others, it’s getting quite full. I know he won’t touch it tomorrow, since he has class. So I’m expecting to break the 5 day mark for a new record. When I first moved in, I was doing his dishes a fair amount, just because I would wash mine and his were right there anyways. But something made me stop, it wasn’t even really something I consciously decided, I just don’t want to do his dishes.
After work I went to PE and met Kristin, she had her final intro class and was a bit nervous to use the barbell so much and work with Nicole. She actually really surprised me, she seemed to be picking up on the barbell movements quite well. As for me, I wanted to test my deadlift max. I’ve been pulling all of the weights Kyle has here, which is about 340 lbs x3 for a half-dead. So I was curious to see what I could pull from the floor. And some how, some way, I blew my own mind and pulled 165 kilos(363 lbs.) It was a serious fight, and seemed to take forever. It took so long that people started collectively cheering me on, like 1 by 1. It was a monstrous PR, about 30 lbs. I honestly have no idea how or why. I guess it can only be a combination of running and doing half-deads here at Kyle’s. I followed up with some light push press work, my hands are still absolutely shredded so just gripping the bar was painful. Then I finished with Annie, which was at least a recent best if not an all time best at 6:17. I just felt mentally very strong this evening.
I know my oly lifting is suffering, but I’m honestly OK with that. I put way too much emphasis on that for too long and the cold hard truth is I don’t have the genetics for it. That, coupled with some substantial shoulder mobility issues, it’s just not going to be something I’m ever great at. And that’s OK. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to do it, I actually want to start getting back to doing more of it. I have just come to the conclusion that it is going to have to be more of a casual thing for me. My goal now is to get back into Crossfit and build overall endurance. I’m thinking something like weightlift a couple of times a week, maybe follow Nicole’s programming and try to keep it progressive. Then Crossfit 2-3x a week. And on top of that, continue running, bouldering and whatever other outdoor activity I want to jump into.
I have an idea for my gift for Chels, as the last of the goals I set for myself when I moved out of the house. I have been waiting to check this one off for a while, as I finished everything else a few days ago. I just need to iron out the details and work out the specifics. I’m actually looking to complete it through Reddit, but we’ll see how that pans out. This is something I’ve actually been wanting to do for almost 2 years exactly now and I was just too lazy to make it happen. So that’s exciting.
And on a related note, I have to give myself props for completing all of the goals I set for myself. No matter how simple some of them may have been. It still took some mental effort to get them all completed. And in the process I’ve actually picked up on some new habits, ones that I feel will stick with me for some time and hopefully have a positive impact on my life in general.
Chels signed up for her Level 1 today, which is a pretty big deal. It’s something she’s talked about doing pretty much for years. I’ve admittedly always had some reservations about this, mostly out of principle for the fact that Crossfit charges an exorbitant amount for something that realistically shouldn’t cost nearly that much. But her boss is fronting the money which is huge. I definitely want to encourage her on this. I know she can be a bit…demure. But it’s something she’s passionate about and maybe taking on something like this will help gain confidence.
I’m also trying to think about her less and less. But it’s hard and I still consider her my best friend and honestly, my only *true* friend. But I’m working on it. I’ve started to develop new relationships over the past couple of weeks. And returning to the gym today was great. I admittedly still have some reservations about this and when I came in I felt a tinge of anxiety. But the people there are so chill and so cool, I ended up talking to a handful of people and having a good time. But now that I’m here alone and the sun has went down, the house is quiet(Kyle goes to bed at like 8:00pm…) those thoughts are starting to creep back up on me. I am fighting the urge to text her just for the sake of texting her. Granted there are things we could talk about that aren’t about our relationship. For instance, it feels kind of weird to not tell my “fitness buddy” of the past 3-1/2 years about a *huge* PR. But I dunno, I just go through phases. I feel that texting her right now will be mostly done out of weakness, like I just need to hear from her. But that shouldn’t be the case. I absolutely don’t want to cut off communication with her; the opposite really. I want to be able to have really meaningful talks that don’t end with me sobbing in a pool of tears. I know we could have those. I’m just not quite there yet.
Tomorrow I have to get up at 5:00am again. This time I actually have to get my ass to the convention center by 6:30, which is lame. But you gotta do what you gotta do. This user conference is huge for our company and some people spend months and months planning this thing out. It’s quite the production really. But god damn, it’s super boring for me.
I want to take a minute to talk about my manager Chris. Chris is the definition of a “nice guy.” And that makes him super easy to talk to and an all around good person, but it really hurts his managerial skills in my opinion. Granted, I don’t know shit about managing, but I just know that his approach doesn’t always work well. For instance, Wendy has an obvious anger/stress issue. And this leads to her flipping out and mistreating people for no good reason. It honestly reflects poorly not only on her but on the IT group as a whole sometimes. And I like Wendy, but christ she can be too much to handle sometimes. And Chris just lets her walk all over him. Chris will never say a bad word about Wendy. And sometimes he just needs to put his foot down. And if he did, she would probably actually respect him more. Then there is the passive-aggressive way he doles out orders. Instead of actually telling you to do something, because that could be a bit difficult; he has this weird of way of telling you to do it without actually *telling* you to do it. For instance today he casually mentioned to a group of us that the general session stage will need an HDMI cable and 8-port switch. At this same time, I announced I was going upstairs to work on the ballrooms. About 30 minutes later I get a text from Chris that says, “Where did you put the HDMI cable and switch for general session?” And I’m like, what? What this was, is his convoluted way of telling me to do something. He knew when he sent that text that I hadn’t delivered those items. It was just a way of telling me to do it without actually telling me. It’s kind of annoying.
But if there’s one good thing I’ve learned from Chris, it’s the power of time management. I want to start using my personal calendar more and more to add activities and to keep myself in check a little bit. To add just a tiny bit of accountability there to motivate me to get out and do these things. I want to start dumping some things on there that make me uncomfortable. One thing I’m going to try is to go back to Planet Granite alone and ask the front desk for a belay partner. What they’ll do is announce over the intercom that someone is looking for a partner and I’ll be forced to work with someone. This is something Kyle mentioned to me and I like the idea of it. It’s almost kind of an intimate thing really, because your life is sort of in their hands and vise versa. It could be a great way to meet people.
Anyways, time for bed. I’m definitely not looking forward to up so waking up so early.