The world we live in is a big and scary place, full of lies and deceit. Obstacles to hinder your path. Just when you think things are going right, a reality check hits you square in the face. You can either put up your guard, roll with the punches. Or you can hit the ground and stay there for the 10 count. It’s so much easier just to stay down. Just to give in and accept whatever life hands you. Most people are not willing to fight for what they truly want, and up until this point in my life, I was one of those people. I was the very definition of “easy going” I was practically a drifter. I took whatever job opportunity presented itself, no matter how shoddy and worthless I knew it to be. When I got tired of one, I would just drift to another. I kind of did a similar thing with my friends, whichever friend was available most of the time was who I spent my time with. When that friend would get into a serious relationship or take a new job, I would gravitate towards another friend. I just kind of “went with the flow.” And I don’t want to do that anymore.
I want to stand up for what I believe in, fight for what I want, and make something out of my life. And all I can hope for is to try; that these are not just words on a screen. That these words will someday soon manifest themselves as actions. I may sound like a bit of a broken record at this point, but I need to reassure myself that this is what I’m going to do. To at least be able to say, in the end, that I tried. I lived my life as best I could. I saw all my eyes could see, heard all my ears could hear, and loved all my heart could love. I just know that if I continue on my current route, and stay in this small quiet town; someday the regret will strike. It all ready has to some degree, and it hurts bad enough knowing I’ve wasted 10 good years of my life on nothing. I don’t want to waste the rest of it.
As a bit of a side note, I recently purchased a T.V. And I know what you’re thinking, “My, that’s awfully counter-productive for someone looking to minimize distractions in his life.” And I don’t blame you for thinking that, but hear me out. I haven’t owned a proper T.V. in nearly 10 years, I have no desire to ever sit on the fucking couch and watch sitcoms or Sunday night football. This T.V. will be a learning device for me. I want to use it to watch documentaries, seminars, speeches. I want it to be my window to the rest of the world. I want to see how awesome people live their lives, and find the time and monetary means to do what they want to do. I want to watch a travel guide to Egypt, I want to see what I’m missing, and know how to get there.
I just can’t give up on myself. I talked recently about putting trust in others, and I still stand by that. But you should never give up on yourself, there’s always another chance, it’s not over until you allow it to be over. Be strong and fight back, life is too short to give in, to lay down and submit.
There is one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the whole world is telling you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world:
NO, YOU MOVE.